A Letter to My 16-Year Old Self

I saw this on Good Morning America today...people writing letters to their 16-year old selves. I thought this would be fun considering I'm an entirely different person now than I was back then. Here goes:

Dear 16-year old Noura,

First of all, congratulations on failing your driver's test. Idiot. Yeah, it was nervewracking and the DMV bitch shouldn't have had you in such a crowded part of town...but backing up into a van full of kids because you got the gas and brake pedals mixed up is just retarded. And the fantastic part is, that poor Chevy Tracker of yours will be put through so much of your torturous driving this first year. You will get to know the bottom of many a ditch, and even have people at school convinced that you died because of the odd angle you somehow managed to stick your car into in a ditch right outside of school (and its going to need a second tow truck to get you out so just go ahead and call for two right off the bat). No worries though, you'll get better at driving (although you'll still be as daring) and you'll actually drive a super-fast, super-hot sports car for a few years (*tear, miss you Gigi...).


Second, although you'll break out of your shell once you get to college, you really should try to break out of it earlier. There's this whole other you deep down in there...a you that doesn't care so much about what other people think (and boy is that liberating!), and who is free to be the goofy, sarcastic and outspoken person she really is. People will love that about you, and you'll meet so many more people this way. No need to be so shy and soft-spoken and afraid, you're going to get walked all over that way and trust me, that's no fun. So go ahead, give it a shot...stand up for yourself, be confident! It's ok to be different.


Your close group of friends right now will pretty much stay the same for the rest of your life. So keep these gals close, they're the real deal, and don't let a certain someone try to walk all over you and come between you all. You all will survive this person's tactics to break you up, so just keep that in mind while you're apologizing for something you didn't do.

Oh, and that perm you decided to get last year, I could've killed you for that! You fried your hair....how could you?? No one in their right mind would think that perm + short hair + bangs = good looking. You can thank that stupid mistake for the frizzy hair you'll have in your senior pictures. Bah! But the good news is, you wont be the shortest girl around anymore in a few years, you'll actually be considered average or even tall compared to other women your age. You'll always be skinny so just embrace it...and don't be afraid to work the rear ;) you may not realize this now, but its definitely an ASSet!


Ah yes, and I'm sure you want to know....boys will notice you, eventually. At least once you discover makeup and this magical device called a hair straightener (if you wouldn't have gotten that perm things would have looked up for you muuuch sooner). Also helps when you start being more outgoing and break out of your shell in college. But try not to be so emotionless...even though you'll build up a wall for the right reasons, its going to be pretty hard to tear it down once that right man comes along and it will save you many arguments if you knew how to show your feelings in the first place. 


Which brings me to marriage. Yes, contrary to what your mother says, you will get married (and learn how to cook). Yes, he will be an Arab guy, and yes, he will be the most wonderful person you'll ever meet, and you'll know right off the bat that he's the one. Fate will bring you two together in the most unsuspecting place and time, so brace yourself...its going to hit you faster than you can say "my big fat Arab wedding". Oh yeah, and you'll have a baby by age 26 and quit your career to move back to Syria with your husband and eventually become a stay-at-home mom. Hello? You still there? Just wanted to make sure you didn't have a heart-attack. I know...its so different than what you've always thought for yourself but trust me, its the best thing that could ever happen to you and you wouldn't be able to picture it any other way once it happens. :)


A few other notes: 

• 9/11 was traumatizing on other Muslims as well...and no, they're not going to put all Muslims in concentration camps now like you think. But you will have to endure annoying extra airport security when you travel. Try not to pack too much in your carry-on.
• Your love for travel will help you as your life changes and you move to new places. Always keep an open mind and an open heart.
• Wear sunscreen. Even if its foggy on the beach.
• Don't try to google the benefits of breastfeeding at work. They will think you're a perv and block you from the Victoria's Secret website when all you want to do is look at swimsuits.

Lastly, live your life to its fullest, make good choices, don't worry about what everyone else thinks or does, blah blah blah. You get it. Or, well, you will anyway. Life is good, and you are very blessed...always be thankful. Oh yeah, and that party you're going to have while you're housesitting for your neighbor the summer of high school graduation....yeah that is NOT a good idea. But damn, it's going to be fun ;)


Yours,


Future Noura

"I'm a Mom" and Other Startling Revelations of a First-Time Mom...

Mommyhood has brought up new lessons for me everyday...whether it be about myself, my son, or life in general. Some things I've learned have been more surprising than others...here are some that have really stuck out for me.

• Yep. I'm a mom. My son is now 4 months old and I still look at myself in the mirror and say "I'm a mom" in disbelief. Not in a bad way, I love being a mother...its the most fulfilling experience in life for a woman. But I still see myself as this goofy, useless knowledge-knowing, random movie quoting, lover of football more than the average girl...with a horrible short-term memory and a love of sarcasm. I am in fact all those things, but you don't normally think of a mother necessarily being that way. In a way I am more grounded, responsible, and domesticated. But I feel like I should be more...grown up. Older. Whatever. I still look like I'm 12, so I feel like sometimes people look at me as the babysitter instead of the mother. But in the end, I guess I'm glad I haven't aged like 30 years after becoming a mother. I hope I keep my energy (even though some days my low fuel light turns on before noon), sarcasm, and overall goofiness instead of becoming some serious overly paranoid parent. And I'm pretty sure that my son will start quoting Mrs. Doubtfire very soon after he utters his first words ;)
• I threw out the book a long time ago. I'm the type that likes to do my research when it comes to new things, and motherhood was no exception. I spent the majority of my pregnancy reading about baby development and sleeping patterns and nursing and blah blah blah. So you'd think I'd be a strict by the book parent after doing all that research. Well, I was for a couple of months at least. Then realized that trying to do everything 'by the book' was damn near impossible because there is no ONE book. You have 500 different people (and doctors) telling you what is best for your child and what to do in certain situations, etc. And most of their advice is conflicting against someone else's. Especially when you have family in the US and Syria...things get a little crazy. Well, no one knows MY child better than ME. And just because it worked for someone else's child doesn't mean its going to work for mine. I try to listen to everyone's advice to get ideas, but in the end I'm not going to let one person influence me all the time, even if it is my child's pediatrician. Cause my pediatrician in Saudi tells me different things than the pediatrician we had in the US (of course there are the key important things that are universally accepted that I do follow). So I'm winging it...and I'm totally ok with that. Its less of a headache, and hamdillah I have a happy and healthy baby, so I must be doing something right!
• I don't get grossed out by the gross stuff. I always used to gag when I saw moms letting their kids puke in their hands or having to endure other bodily fluids being sprayed all over them. Well, I'm now one of those moms. I mean honestly, you get to a certain point where you're just used to it. Maybe the first time I got peed on, I got a little grossed out. But then I got pooped and puked on afterwards, and it was just pointless to even care. You clean it up, change clothes (although sometimes if it's just some spit-up I just wipe it off with some baby wipes and not bother changing clothes...don't judge me.) and carry on with the day. Cause chances are, its going to happen again that day and time is too precious to be spending it gagging over some wayward poopie. (By the way, surprisingly my hubby is way more grossed out by all this than I am...I can literally hear him gagging when changing a poopy diaper!)
• There's dust on my hair straightener. Its true. I used to straighten my hair at least once a day to make sure it was perfect and no hair was out of place...now my hair straightener is in a basket collecting dust because I just don't have time to sit there and try to fix my hair every time I shower or leave the house. Speaking of showers...
• It's scientifically proven that babies puke more on their freshly-showered mommies. I quit being upset about this a long time ago. A washcloth and hand soap are my new best friends.
• My son looks at me funny when I have make up on. Probably because its on rare occasions that I have time to put on a full face of makeup...so in the off chance that I do, I feel like it takes him a while to realize its still me under there (and I hope he thinks I'm pretty since most days I look like a ball of crapola). 
• Having a housekeeper saved my life. My son's a cat-napper, ergo I don't have any time to clean. I can't even imagine what my house would look like if I didn't have a housekeeper coming to clean twice a week. *shudders*
• I may never fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans again. I knew I wanted to keep a few of my prego pounds cause I like having a curvier figure. But it never occurred to me that that would entail me giving up on all my pre-prego jeans. I should have known that the little extra weight would be in a particular..err..southern area of my body and that means bye bye size 2 jeans.
• One smile cures everything. I could have gotten 2 non-consecutive hours of sleep the night before and be too tired to function and be in the worst mood, and all of it goes away when my baby boy smiles at me. It's infectious, and reminds me that it's all worth it. :)

My baby Omar is the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I am so thankful for having him and my husband in my life. I may not do things the conventional way, but I'm doing it the best way for me, my baby and my family...my son is teaching me more than I'm teaching him everyday, and that's the beauty of mommyhood.

The smile I live for!!