Friday, August 19, 2011

No Really...Donde Esta Me??

I'm here I'm here!! Wow, after a 6-month hiatus, Donde Esta Noura is back! Apparently having a baby puts a dent in my blogging time. I apologize but without further adieu, here are some highlights of the past few months, with some thoughts along the way...

Being back in Nashville was great. I felt home again, and it was so good to see everyone there. Being pregnant was great up until the last month. I blew up like the Hindenburg, and was about as much fun as a hernia. Pretty sure my family wanted to beat the baby out of me at some point. Anyways, I was worried that Al wouldn't make it in time to be there when I went into labor (he came to Nashville 5 days before my due date), but turns out I wouldn't go into labor at all...well, not on my own anyway. I had to be induced 4 days past my due date because I hadn't had anything even remotely close to a real contraction (and I had tried everything to get it going!). In the back of my mind, I always knew I'd end up having a C-Section, but I really really wanted to have the baby naturally (well, as natural as it can be with an epidural). Even so, I was disappointed to hear that after being in labor for 13 hours, my baby's head was not seeing the light and that I needed to have a C-Section. The whole operation was painful...even with the drugs I could still feel a lot of pressure and pulling. But apparently I turn into a comedian whenever I'm under some form of anesthesia, because I was cracking jokes the whole time. I remember the nurses and doctors (and Al) laughing at me, but don't remember what I was talking about. Although I do distinctly remember mentioning something about a philly cheesesteak...

Holding Omar in my arms for the first time was emotional, and something I unfortunately vaguely remember because I was still a bit drugged up. But looking at the video Al took of that moment, I couldn't help but laugh at myself. I was crying and sniffling and kept asking over and over again how much he weighed...I was like a broken record. Overall, while I was disappointed that I had to have a C-Section (and will need one for any other children I may have), I was just glad that Al and my family were there with me. I was overjoyed and so thankful with how beautiful and perfect Omar was...until I looked down. Hold up. I thought that once you had the baby and weren't pregnant anymore, you would actually LOOK like you weren't pregnant anymore. I still had a 7-month prego belly. No no no no...I did NOT sign up for this! I wanted back in my skinny jeans, not my stupid maternity pants. I actually went to the mall with Al and Omar one day about 2 weeks after I had the baby, and this lady at a store practically ran up to me and said "AAWWW when are you due?!?!?". I looked her dead in the eye and said "I've already had my baby. He's over there." She shrank to about the size of a gopher and apologized before she ran off faster than the road runner.
Although breastfeeding helped a TON and my belly looked like it was decreasing in size with every feeding, I still today have a little bit of a pooch that I'm trying to get rid of. I guess its just going to take more time and lots of crunches, so that's what I've been trying to fit into my day lately.

The next couple of weeks were spent in Nashville with my parents, with Al and I getting accustomed to the idea of being parents. He took to it better than I did I think...recovering from a C-section really hindered my comfort with the baby. Not that I didn't love him more than anything, but being in pain and all the hormones and crap going on while I was stressed about going to Syria soon and packing (read previous blog post about my thoughts on packing) really made me a hot mess. Breastfeeding has been the biggest challenge of my life, and there were times where I just wanted to quit (amazing what sleep deprivation will do to your sanity). But I'm still going strong and it has gotten much easier now that Omar is almost 3 months old. 

We then spent 10 days in Syria with Al's parents (scratch that, I spent 10 days, Al spent only 2 because he got called back to Saudi for work). Omar did wonderfully on the overseas trip...better than Al and I actually. He slept most of the time on all the flights while we struggled with all our carry on stuff (which was mostly Omar's) and battled cramped seats and sleep deprivation and the overall incoherence of airport personnel. 

I then came back to our home in Saudi, and it felt good to be back here until Al had to go on a job 2 days later. Suddenly I found myself very much alone. Most of my friends here had gone back to their respective homelands for the summer, so I didn't have much help to turn to. In Nashville and Syria, I was surrounded by family who were helping me out with Omar...such as taking him to play while I slept in a little after that ass-crack of dawn feeding. I didn't have anyone here, and I was terrified. With all the different adjustments Omar had to make between the US, Syria and Saudi as a one-month old, it took him about a week to finally get adjusted to everything here. And during that week, I about gave up on life. He was barely sleeping (which meant I was barely sleeping), and he wanted to feed all the time while I barely had time to feed myself. While this greatly helped in me losing my pregnancy weight so quickly, it left me mentally and physically exhausted. I prayed for strength and patience, and somehow managed to pick myself up and power through this tough time I was having. And dammit, I did it. I didn't have a choice but to do it. I knew I had to get used to being alone because of the nature of my husband's job. And while my friends would all be coming back in September which offered some relief to me, I knew I couldn't rely on everyone else all the time. I was spoiled that first month, and it wouldn't be that way again so I had to learn how to get by on my own. I'm still learning day by day and had a few breakdowns along the way, but I'm making it and doing better now. It sucks when Al is gone so much and its just me and the baby...I know how much he misses Omar and how much Omar misses him. But this is the way its going to be for a while, and we have no choice but to make it work. I cherish every minute I spend with my baby, and even when I've had the worst day and am so tired I can barely function, it all goes away with one smile from him. Looks like the Tin Woman really does have a heart ;)

Whew. Ok. That's the digested reader's digest version of the past 6 months of my life. It's looking like my blog will more closely resemble 'the adventures of mommyhood' from now on since that's basically my life now, so Noura most likely esta at the casa. However, we do have a few trips planning in the next couple of months (Dubai, Abu Dhabi, and Syria again hopefully) so we're still going to jet-set! Omar's a seasoned traveler now and we plan on passing along our love for traveling and seeing different parts of the world to him by getting him started early. So who knows where we'll end up! And I promise not to take a 6-month hiatus again, so hopefully yall will still be along for the ride :)

1 comment:

  1. Love reading your blog hyatti, you're such a good writer! This is much better than doing my schoolwork! We're all praying for you and thinking of you everyday. Bosat to my precious little nephew!